smells like spleen spirit.

2012-02-10T09:56:00.001-08:00

there is a reason and there is a rhyme
but what there is not is any more time

You. Skip a beat :)

2012-02-06T10:24:00.000-08:00

Shrrriiiiipppaaaaaarrrnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

i dont know if you ever check this anymore. I did now, after very many years :)

were things different backthenorwhatmaan:D

we should start over:-\

2010-11-25T09:49:00.001-08:00

At my happiest, i realise - i can never ever hold bliss like it was my own.

2010-11-12T10:27:00.000-08:00

Having your heart broken is nothing like they'd tell you in books is it. It's like someone left a great big rock on chest, and forgot it there.

i can't deal:(

2010-10-21T09:01:00.000-07:00

would you mind if i made a guest appearance. and be spectacularly girly,

and complain to you about how everyone around me seems to be in a relationship

and/or a relationship problem (which, according to hearsay, happen only when one is IN a relationship)

and while i would normally be pleased to help

i've had it to up here

with it. because all it seems to do. is rub in a stark lack of, in my life

which is not, again, you know normally something i'd care about very much

there just seem to be one too many reminders lately

2010-08-20T13:59:00.000-07:00

Bloody chinese spammers, fuck off i say. moving on, looks like i AM doing rantblog again afterall.
This is like a note to self.

Please be awesome again. the trick is to be awesome and not give a fuck, to believe that your awesomeness is not a result of any external element, nothing but your mere existence makes itself a marvel, and to eat a lot of chicken and draw a lot of lines.Do not colour outside and losing money is NOT OK.

2010-06-29T00:40:00.001-07:00

People smiling and posing piss me off.

tossed out the window, of love's El Camino

2010-06-28T01:33:00.000-07:00

i should probably stop getting high.
words- ani difranco.

2010-06-28T01:30:00.000-07:00

yesterday i looked.
today i smelt horrible shit.
day before was slightly better or something.

time to look for a cliff to jump off

2010-06-20T08:47:00.000-07:00

today i said lol, and am now sitting in the same room with the person whose influence it might have been, and who i said it to.

so who needs help defining pathetic, again?

2010-06-12T12:18:00.000-07:00

I now know how to be sad and not be weighed down by grief at the same time.
I dont remember what i started out to say, maybe it was about love this time as well.
Or about touching imaginary noses etcetera. I liked all that. It made me happy.
Reality checks make me stable, though.
I liked knowing love.

2010-06-09T01:35:00.001-07:00

I'm doing the music equivalent of reading self help books.

drill me to the ground.

I got sunshine in a bag

2010-06-08T00:28:00.000-07:00

chirp chirp

2010-06-05T11:49:00.000-07:00

So when i lose (something), i go and get myself a new camera, for it can perhaps get me a new kind of art to sell as a deceit.

wooFuckinghoo

how cool am i.

2010-06-03T22:15:00.001-07:00

"Even though it all went wrong, I'll stand before the Lord of Song with nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah."

- Leonard Cohen

2010-06-02T09:29:00.000-07:00

oh, im so foolish.

in other news

hell i love ffffound! :D

Not the 100th post.

2010-06-01T05:41:00.000-07:00

So, look who's ridiculously bored. Look who also cannot use Photoshop anymore. Look who has, however, finally learnt how to do the stupid sunrays thing.

I need a lot of things and one of them would be something i already have but cannot consume because im at home. I have a new harddisk, and a new skirt. It is very fulfilling to have yourself given a back massage and I need fulfillment of just that craving right about now.I dont need to get into crabby mood and suddenly, ranting seems to be getting me closer to one of those moods.
Should stop and will.

Happy Birthday Jim

2010-06-01T05:19:00.000-07:00

and boy, were you hot.

(OK WE ALL KNOW ITS NOT HIS BIRTHDAY I WANTED AN EXCUSE TO PUT UP THE PICUTTTTUUUUURE AND im lame like that)

and well, HAPPY 100TH POST TO THIS BLOG, however :P

2010-05-27T05:55:00.000-07:00

ok. this is the end of an era of me always pushing coversation. or having to push conversation in case i want any because you certainly dont want any and i will take the hint. yes sir, you have successfully hammered it home. bravo.

get yourself a new goddamn disease

2010-05-26T20:13:00.000-07:00

sometimes i get shortness of breath like hiccups because i dont get hiccups anymore. i used to get hiccups when i laughed very hard. i believe in statements and thats a disease. if i didnt take everything so seriously, i'd get sleep more often and then i could wake up and be of some service to the household which would make me a relevant person and make it easier to talk mom into letting me go out for an hour. today i have a resolve and very short breath. today i have a thought process running amok but it ends in murder. that's got to be some form of order. yes it is. its impossible to be unhappy in a skirt. im fine. today is a thursday. im fine.

who says i cant get stoned

2010-05-26T08:46:00.000-07:00

if im crying about the death of dio or the malfunction in my intestines or because i missed meeting my bitches because of the 7th time my mom wanted to pretend to be homicidal, im always crying about the same.
in which case i would be oblivious of the others and in case im really crying about it which im crying about,and the fact that the others don't hold can not make me stop.

That is exactly what makes me a dysfunctional human being.

2010-05-25T07:01:00.000-07:00

It's like i make guest appearances here eh:P

ah well not very missed anyway, considering noone knows i pop in here except shilpy:D ah yes okay i will cut that out. insanely as a first i can think of absolutely nothing to complain about in my life whiich is insanely as a first the insanely part i'm talking about? is because i've got exams and a very(uh VERY) annoying college but hey whatthehell:D

i been listening to moody emotional songs all day which oho yeah is another bit of insanity(but is fun! i mean no better way to balance out a blank head than to fill it with other people's heartbreaks and longing)

and i started writing anotherletter, you. be glee-ed:)

Doesnt look like I'm much of a feminist.

2010-05-23T22:09:00.000-07:00

Yeah, that's pretty much all I have to say about the matter.
Moving on, I've really been into short fiction lately, and have just realised I cannot write it. Its a painfully heartbreaking process, recovering each time I discover something I love and soon after, my complete lack of skill or aptitude in the area.Why, always.I even lose the will to punctuate right around this traumatic period.

No, I'm not PMSing.
(Well that's a feminist statement right there.)

2010-05-11T01:30:00.001-07:00

i cant believe it takes a month of nagging and then a punch in the face to remind a person of what you need.

im not the one for pushing, i like to abandon and withdraw.

LAME LAZYDAY LISTS

2010-05-05T00:26:00.000-07:00

As of now,

I miss:

Shayo.
Sayan.
My bed being next to the windows in my room (mom MOVED it after the last time i left home)
Geography class. (yes, right go laugh your asses off)
Shravanthi M.S. and ICSE Board exams :D
Watching cartoon network (mom watches soaps ALL bleddy day)
Pot.
My guitar.
Boy.

I want:

SHAYO TO MOVE TO PUNE REAAAAAAAAALBAD.
To be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Some new books. (i hate ebooks)
Acrylic paints.
A wacom tablet.
A camera.
A snowglobe to fling at a wall
To be your dirty little secret.
Some storage space, goddamnit. (which translates as, a new hard disk, maybe?)
Loads of plain new wallets i could paint on.
To write a letter and name it Pop.
To make a boldly coloured painting and name it Montgomery.
New Music
Boy. :(

I Love:

The smell of paint
The Book Thief (the book, that is. got hold of e-book yay)
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory <3
The Japanese Wife :')
The idea of killing people.
The idea of shooting marbles down someone's throat.
The idea of shooting myself for being unreasonable.
Boy.<3

I Hate:

Obsessing.
Screaming moms.
Screaming children.
Screaming me.
Screaming T.V.
Lack of Pot.
Lack of Sneha.
This
( Insert extremely infuriating and saddening shit i will not mention)
LackofBoyD:

2010-05-02T07:01:00.001-07:00

i really really want to write a book on my numerous, half made up dreams.

GOD i really just want to write a book.

2010-04-20T22:13:00.001-07:00

not happy in the remotest. everytime im happy its just the manic phase, bipolarity has been tested and proven.

2010-04-18T23:04:00.000-07:00

IM REDISCOVERING MY LIFE AS A GAY PARADE because of the love, the poetry i can spot in images again, the words that wouldnt come too hard or too jarring, because of sweet inebriation, because of rainy glasses and i dont miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind anymoreeeeeee. JOIN ME IN BEING GAY BUT BYOB.

MY BLOGMATE HAS A DOG WOOF.

2010-04-18T10:32:00.003-07:00

do not slip into that state do not continue being delusional stop now for your own fucking good OK. please.

2010-04-07T09:42:00.000-07:00

i havnt cried enough for you, my joker and thief.

its a broken halleluiah

2010-04-05T13:18:00.000-07:00

HALLE-L-U-

so as it turns out

2010-03-10T20:36:00.000-08:00

i HAVE to blowdry my hair each time i want to see myself fit into a socially acceptable definition of a girl.what good are boobs, now? this is PRECISELY why i'd trade everything for a dick of my own.

and then be a dog and sing

My God, my God, my God gave me a rod
For fishing, fishing

fishing.

2010-02-21T13:48:00.000-08:00

ok, so im cruelly affected by insomnia somehow and its really frustrating because i had a horrible end to a pretty decent day.so im gonna sit here rant. ive been very unproductive of late. people are stealing things from my room and that's scary and depressing. i dont wear jewellery anymore. i think im going a little insane no matter how stable i claim to be whenever the subject is brought up. i want to pet an elephant. i want to sit on it and scream NO, YOU'RE A GUJJU to random people on the street. my ink bottle leaks so much that it breaks my heart. shawty got low.
low

low.

2010-02-21T13:32:00.001-08:00

no offence, but you dont make sense.

2010-02-10T09:36:00.001-08:00

its neither of the two but its good enough anyway. :)

2010-02-05T13:51:00.000-08:00

there is an ache and then i fall asleep only to wake up with a start at around 3 in the morning wondering if i'll find myself being looked at as a video game or a void, an escape or as non existent.this is really painful.

stop this, hold this like its a naked heartbeat and bury it somewhere down the street i dont need this to be the chorus to the dirge of a soundtrack to the entire goddamned tragic farce that is my life.

or make me see that it can be touched like a tissue or a pebble or a missing block of lego.

2010-01-24T07:42:00.000-08:00

i hate him.
there, i've said it. and it's a corrosive painful hate that i really shouldn't have. because i don't really, you know.

but i do. so.

i've switched back phones with my sister, so i wouldn't be tempted to ever msg. ever.
i'm tired.

2009-12-17T09:13:00.000-08:00

Dear whoever is reading this.
don't waste your time. turn back now. you won't get it, i'm not asking you to. i'm feeling lost. and estranged. from what, you ask? no you don't, and i couldn't tell you even if you did, because i have not the least idea.

you, yes you. are angry with me. because i haven't called or written. newsflash. neither have you.
ok?
because i'm trying here. i'm trying not to rip my hair to shreds trying not to kill everyone i know because i really DO like all of them but you KNOW what? that's precisely WHY i need to leave here need to go somewhere i REALLY dont know anyone so i can hate it there in earnest and not feel guilty not feel awful not be jealous not be needy not be. anything.

do you want to know what i've been doing for whatseems like an eternity now? flashbacking in my head.
i miss when i was little, because when i was little my head wasn't a swirling mass of nothingness and confusion about nothing in particular because what WOULDbe fun? is it being a swirling mass of nothingness and confusion when i know what the hell is bothering me

i miss the little lulu show. i miss cartoon network in english. without the irritating chinese cartoons. i miss the original pogo. i miss the real nickelodeon. i miss chennai. but that can't be. i hate chennai.
whatamisaying i miss it like crazy. i hate it because i've changed and can't recognise myself anymore. i miss being silly and doing stupid things. i miss being smart. i miss FEELING smart.

i miss kolkata. i miss the rain. i miss the school. i miss what we did, sitting in those last benches. i miss the chatter. i miss the lunches.
i miss being online in the middle of the night, and still having company.
i miss it.

i miss bangalore. i miss the last two years. i miss bangalore. how is thateven POSSIBLE i live here. and i miss it all more because i'm standing still. m stuck. i dont know
i can't explainwhy. i don't know what i'm asking, or what i'm trying to say

i told you this was a waste of time.

2009-12-05T04:25:00.000-08:00

go with the flow?

go with the flow.

being unproductive

2009-12-01T18:56:00.000-08:00

is going to kill me. no no no no dont be them ship. FOCUS. WORK. FUCK THE BOIL ON YOUR BUM. FUCK DISTRACTIONS LIKE BLANKETS.FUCK YOUR FUCKING FATIGUE. work.

Yes Ma, TopRamon is fine

2009-11-30T05:43:00.000-08:00

but i also needasmoke :(

blah,to be home.

dude.

2009-11-28T09:28:00.003-08:00

I CANNOT FIND MY FUCKING E-BOOKS I HAD A BIG COLLECTION I WAS JUST ABOUT TO START READING BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I HAVE TO GO LOSE THEM RIGHT WHEN I DECIDE TO STOP PROCRASTINATING FUCK BULL POTTY

2009-11-20T11:14:00.000-08:00

quoting from S's blog:

And my heart is a-beating and my soul is air

And my face is a little bit locked in your stare

whatever can get more beautiful?

if you want a word

2009-11-18T12:34:00.001-08:00

ill give you
'shuor'.

story of our lives.

2009-11-04T23:40:00.000-08:00

in college library, pandering bruised hopes (or, pumping them up for no good reason) using lame tarot readings as a means.

this is us, deal with it.
"Will i be able to rest my head in his collar bones, and breathe in peace?"

&

"will my warm, sweaty hands find his magical fingers without hers in between?"

OMMA-GOD.

BECAUSE i have to write more because somebody just asked me to, here it goes. sudfhgldlfrweiujtsklhfkjsdg jhsdfghsdgsghdsa
AND HERE IS THE SOMEBODY APOLOGISING FOR MY VERY STONED FRIEND...! YES WE ARE PATHETIC BUT HEELLOOOOOOOO.... WE ARE STILL REAL.... YOU DONT KNOW SHIT..! BLAH@!
^

lameeyebrowwomansucks.

SWEATSHIRT<3

2009-11-03T19:47:00.000-08:00

WHAT. we might just have some things in common, ok. stop saying 'enter me' and let me in on you, plez?

sdfdg randomtypinizsocoolz

2009-11-01T14:18:00.000-08:00

no but really, if i had to invent a word, it would totally be sdfdg and everybody would have the liberty to pronounce it as they please but there would have to be ONE SOLITARY meaning that it carries. NO double meanings and confuzzlating ( hail me, i did it again) bullcrap like that. i'd make sure the rules of grammar relating to the word be so rigid that it is made punishable by law to mess around trying to have pun with it.(chuckle) the world could do with words less annoyingly confusion creating tools of language. how do you even frame sentences without pissing at least one person off by at least a milliunit of pissedness in a group of as few as five people? tell me its not just me, tell me you too feel this urgent need to slaughter words, ever so often?

(oh and if you knew me, you'd also know how much of a rat's ass i give to these confusions created and that i just needed something to rant about)

also, please tell me there's some heavy discount on ebay on because i seem to be doing real lousily at the 'getting a life' business. nothing seems to be worth the price it comes for. bleach (is the new blah).

OH GUESS WHAT I GAINED 6 KGS SINCE THE BEGINNING OF COLLEGE AND NOW IM HEAVIER THAN MYMOM SO WHOEVER WANTS TO VOLUNTEER TO SHOOT ME MAY HURRY UP AND RAISE THEIR HANDS.
*hysterical fit of hair-pull-tear*

ok so today was weird. it was exhausting but ossum because the hillplace rules and silver rings give me this weird high when i earn them without having to spend. better not ask. :D
i drew something AWESOME yesterday. it wasnt brilliant execution nor amazing concept butbutbut it makes me feel littlegirllike, like like the acousticdreams time? yeah hehehehelolz.

but i really dont like this college yet, maaaaaann. i swear im consciously pushing myself to stop being judgemental but its JUST NOT HAPPENING because EVERYBODY and EVERYTHING is so fucking FUCKED UP IN THEIR VERY OWN SCREWED UP WAY (which is just sad, each of these ways), that its not even remotely putupable anymore. others dont know nor care about my existence so that doesnt count. everything makes me act pricey and my bipolarity seems to be acting up more often than usual lately making me a horrible person and a hugeass bitch to everybody.this place, its just not me. it is turning me into oneofthem. and that's exactly what i have always been terrified off. OMMAGOD.

i want me old people back, thegoodol'virtualfanboys and the others. 'the others' are a weird assortment of people i love who probably have no idea about how the rock(ed? D:) my world. i want sneha and i want LD and i want pujita and i want chiquita and i want dadu and i want santosh the iron guy ( OMG HE'S GOT MARRIED! *HEARTBREAK*) and i want priyankadi and i want priyankakumar and i want senjuti and i want SHOMBIT!OMMAGODYAS and i want the madwoman sitting at the 45 bus stand turn and i want dhruvaghosh. i want the lovely, lovely IM. geography teacher<3>momdadokyesthemtooarghdfhgd. i want worldview and that obscure little pond along the nondescript goli opposite JU.i want abheek sinha. i want my bed my oink my deem bhajasohnoimgoingtocryohnoOHLOOKAPINKTUTU? i want deeganto i want the occational whiskey at midnights and i want to text you asking you for the time and let you guess how drunk i am. im not sure why but i think i should stop.

please bring the old me back i feel like this mutated version of a dysfunctional foot of a retarded alien.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, WHATEVER FUCKING HAPPENED TO MY HAIR? I WANT OLD HAIR BACK THIS IS PATHETIC AND PLEASE FOR FUCK'S SAKE STOP BEING FAKE, PEOPLE. this is the most jumbled up piece of rantshit i've ever pukedout on this page.

why the fuck does mad have to rhyme with sad, re?

ps: picture of the day:

because it made me smile when i needed to and its about to make me reiterate my love for the gay gardener.

I LOVE YOU, DEAR DARLINGEST GAY GARDENER!
<3

the lives and times of Mr. S.Weevanosa.

2009-10-24T23:46:00.001-07:00

sums up the sparse loveliness of it.

=)

2009-10-17T04:18:00.000-07:00

You make me smiiile like the sun
Faaall out of bed sing like a bird
Diizzy in my head spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me daance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Ohh you make me smi-ile

(allhailunclecracker :))

2009-10-14T14:11:00.000-07:00

i wouldnt be saying this but i am stoned.
axetrip rules.

why i wouldnt be saying it is there's a huge irony in those words.involving a hurt ass.

and the pun in this whole thing makes me chuckle, which actually means im laughing at myself.

somebody on the other end is nicely trying to analyze me, if i am thinking rightly of him. if i aint, he's just a chut.

oh and by the way, i love you, i love you.

when life's a whore..

2009-10-12T10:11:00.000-07:00

fuck it in the nostril.

only, this one here is a freaking weirdo with a broken nose so well, it kinda hurts worse trying to do that either.

jesus christ, college is confusing. its damn annoying. its damn fun too. and i wanna go aww and Fuck and HMPH and grrrr and :) at the same things at the SAME time so its rather mindfucking. wtf. but sometimes its all cool becaaaaaause wellllllllll i dont know, at the end of the day im still doing fine and am able to take off my lenses right and shit so :P

ok now, gimme a hug someone. i need.

axetrip?

2009-10-05T20:20:00.000-07:00

axetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetrip
axetripaxetrlodfveloveddcfsdfipaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetrip
axetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetrip
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axetripaxetripaxetripaxetripsdtrtpainaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetrip
axetripaxetripaxetripwhyvaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetrip
axetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetripaxetrip

2009-10-04T07:28:00.000-07:00

EPIPHANY! :D

i love when this happens *glee*

2009-10-01T23:09:00.000-07:00

and yesterday i sat in the rain on my terrace for over an hour in the cold at night

one of the best things i've done formyself

2009-10-01T22:56:00.000-07:00

yes i'm intending to post in meaningless sentences, problem if that is you go shave YOUR elblow honestly i do not. care.

ugh

everyone i know seems to be either too angry, too busy, too busy to be angry, or just plain finally convinced i'm not really all that worth spending time on.

yay me yeah? YAYme.

college is awful also. well not very but yeah pretty awful and i want to leave actually maybe not i'm not sure where i'd go it's not like i've a shiny little alternative to pretend to want to do so no i suppose i DON'T want to leave especially since not many people really care about what the hell i'm doing so you know what i'll just stop shall i

so there's my notallthatwell spelt out whiny circle of loserliness and i cannot stop saying honestly because now i'm beginning to be unsure of whether it really is honest and though i stopped making sense a long time ago this is probably the only thing making me feel better atleast i'm talking to myself yes? yes. because blogging is all about pretending other people care about your life because really theirs aren't as interesting but we all oh yes we ALL know deepdeeeeeeeep down that's all a pile of burning rubber bobble heads we're just sorry little specks with legal permission from the world in general to talk to ourselves without convincing aforementioned world of our mental instabilty

no of course i'm not bitter now why would you think that

i reread something i wrote a while back and yeah.

guys really are jerks. let's get that clear too, ok? they have always been continue to be and will, always be mountain sized jerks.

i'm going back to my sudoku

2009-10-01T22:38:00.000-07:00

Yeah i'm still here. yeah i just remembered this place, and yeah you can hate me too.
I called you yesterday, by the way, shriparna. where the.hell.wereyou.

the last two days i spent LITERALLY staring at the clock and my phone(trust me nothing happening there either it's only a testament of my sadSADlife.)

my head, as additional not really all that relavent or interesting information, is a mess. in fact, it's SUCH a mess i cannot for the life of me or anyoneelse even be bothered to try explaining.
god.

a junior of mine passed away on the 17th.
a friend of mine.
you know that still makes no sense at all. not even a little bit.
remember all the times i've said my life's a movie? yeah. exactly it.

GOD.

happy birthday sneha.

2009-09-24T13:08:00.000-07:00

le sigh.

today

2009-09-22T12:53:00.000-07:00

i finally touched my right foot after ages, yes the one that's got approximately 8375967 coats of grime over it because it was too painful to even make it come in contact with flowing water.and also had another person touch it. dont ask me, he's a madman. with fingers like waterfalls, jesus christ.

-

shayo: look, what happens in pune, stays in pune. because pune, its like goa man.

-

and oh my god i cannot even believe it man.

-

ankit's adaptation of anusha's "technically" talking face.

-

burger king with all the cheese on the plate and the chikkin going down making me sick.

-

going back to the same old game. hope your address is the same.

-

not in that order.

watte

2009-09-14T02:38:00.000-07:00

so we finally have the digital design module happening so right now i happen to be at the comp lab, pretending to be trying to explore corel draw. facebook is blocked till 5 pm. i have a pain in the leg and a cuteguysittingnexttomelala. the sad and the scary part is that i cannot delete internet history becaaaaaauuuuse then the password for the cyberroam client gets deleted and i cant afford to have that because idont know the password, it was presaved.so there, my blogword privacy is liable to be disrupted any moment by random people of my college who might be jobless enough to try checking random urls in the history.i have nothing even remotely amusing or interesting to share apart from the fact that i have blue nailpaint on and it looks SHIT on me. i have darker arms and a darker and uglier face than i've ever been known to possess. the other day, a dog came limping and chased me and neeti round the footpath because we had a packet of chips with us it was scary i thought i'd get a kidney faliure and die on the spot of a severe ankle injury.i didnt have my bandage on then, and it was a bad hair day. i was wearing an oversized tshirt and a pair of mustard yellow patiyalas and somebody told me i look like a little thing in it, as if wearing anything else makes any difference to my persistent littulity. harish is in pune, we shall meet this week.shayo is coming on the 21st and sayan sometime in october. i want to be a paintbrush.

dont.

2009-08-21T20:40:00.000-07:00

there's already everything else going absolutely WRONG for me in the alien land lala, now you are NOT allowed to kill the only source of solace i have there by.. sdf sjghsghkjhfdgh expecting any more of me.

please, do not make things weird. goddammit i need to tell YOU this. pansy that i am.

OK LISSUN YA

2009-08-20T03:10:00.000-07:00

TAKESHIS is a very weird movie.

for the record.

2009-08-19T04:08:00.000-07:00

I remember having set myself this.. goalthingy of watching about a hundred movies by the end of the year. It MIGHT JUST happen because now im in a design school which has this filmandvideoclub and every week we have a screening of some movie in a classroom ( ah, some screening, you must think. but whatever). First week it was Juno, and i'd already watched it. Next, it was 'Thank you for smoking'. Sad thing is, since i missed like about ..10 minutes of the movie, im not considering it watched at all. Because i have no fucking clue what was happening because i was dead sleepy while it was on, so everything was just thismotionblur onscreen while i was blissfully static in my head.Therefore, that's not being counted either.
But i watched Hangover on friend's laptop.one fuckall movie, men. watchitifyouhavntalready. the tiger kicked the fatman'sass.yes ,so that counts.
Also, i just watched this Korean movie-' The Bow'.
I cannot talk about it because im sleepy. Like, my ankle might come off because it's hurting like nobody's business, and i didn't get my afternoon nap PLUS i have a doctor's appointment later in the evening so, no. Not gonna talk about the movie, besides there isnt much to say. just that, i watched it. soitcounts. im gonna have to do this proper list now.

OH AND I WATCHED SEX AND THE CITY ONCE. ( no i hadnt watched it earlier, so? go eat a pumpkin)
Sad life i have, yes?Makes it three movies anyway. i told you im watching shittyonesaswell,sothat.

ok tata.

i am telling you i will lose it.

2009-08-15T03:36:00.000-07:00

or i have already lostit.

im, as you probably know, now a student of symbiosis institute of design.

i wanna bitch but i wont.

i live in the hostel.the curfew is 10:30 in the night.

i like chocolate toast from the canteen.

i like certain people who think im a leech orsomething.

i came back to kolkata for a week thansk to swinefluattackinpune and first day in town i got sloshed and broke an ankle.

DUDE.

YOU.

2009-07-17T10:10:00.000-07:00

shriparna. are you getting my messages?

2009-07-16T06:21:00.001-07:00

i shouldnt. its not gonna happen. give up.

2009-07-14T09:35:00.001-07:00

So i'm bored. :D

college begins first of august and apparently i've now taken a dislike to numbers so i'm no longer using them no. :P i'm doing dental yes but for some reason my father is still under the delusion i will get medicine in some far away corner of karnataka so i'm just going to stick with saying i've taken dental for the time being after which i will have finally actually really have officially taken dental.

there.

and. lot's of people are moving to bangalore yay. there's paroma and shreya and some more to chennai hurrah. world getting smaller indeed :)

but randomly, you know the part that makes me jump around like a sugarhigh kangaroo everytime? I will NEVER EVEREVER have to learn the proofs for gravity or rotational motion or lens laws or thermodynamics or equilibrium EVER. =D

but i try not to think of that too much, i'm a little wary of the divine backlash. :-\

though now that i have *jumps around like a sugarhigh kangaroo* =P

when love is a puddle you are reduced to

2009-07-14T08:21:00.000-07:00

all that happens is rain.

NO ONE LAST TIMES

2009-06-26T03:11:00.000-07:00

but this one last post is an exception. I wish there were more exceptions, but heh. high high very high hopes.

2009-06-19T10:39:00.000-07:00

I'm tired.

I'm tired of sitting still and worrying because at this moment, like RIGHT now? i don't have a hope for a future and everything i've ever taken for granted, some things i just decided would happen, they all seem nonexistent, and impossibilities in a world that's beginning to spiral more and more out of my control, and which is starting to seem exactly like books that are written to describe sorrow and longing, that always ALWAYS end with some sort of pitiable form of supposed satisfaction because really, it's EASY to erase a life of pain and staring through warm windows in rags, with something as sublime as a smile, or peace in death.
right?

i cannot do this. i cannot listen to someone complain about getting a really good college IN bangalore, with a course that they want, because of some ill-conceived idea that they have to move to hostel. SHE LIVES HERE WHY WOULD SHE GO TO HOSTEL. and THAT is why her life is ruined?

it really is the least of my problems. i cant be nice. i dont want to try. i want to stay home. and i want to be back in school back to knowing what would happen the next day the next year atleast WHERE i would go the next day the next year.

and you know what the worst part is?
i wish i didn't know anyone i did.

i'm not who they think i am i will not live up to expectations i'm on a one-way trip no backtracks no U-turns no side lanes no nothing on a path to absolutely nowhere. so here's to me.

2009-06-16T09:40:00.000-07:00

when i see old people it makes me sad. they should die.

2009-06-15T10:53:00.000-07:00

ok. i just realized that the only thing i'd be comfortable doing in college is english and that its the most impossible thing in my life right now. so, kudos to you ship. you rock your world. wreck, more like.

GET A PRO ACCOUNT?

2009-06-15T02:44:00.000-07:00

SUDDENLY, I LAND INTO THIS BLOG AND FIND THE BACKGROUND PICTURE GONE! and in its place there's tiles of annoying blue .. thing saying PHOTOBUCKET ACCOUNT EXPIRED! RENEW TO A PRO ACCOUNT oh gimme a break what is going ON here?

so that explains the change in the blog layout. am gonna make sure i get a hot, kitsch one as soon as i can cool my head down about this, yo.

Dear Shravanthi

2009-06-09T21:05:00.000-07:00

happy birthday. ok?
and i wish you had ONE functional number where i could reach you.

Call this the land of the StupidPeople and crown me queen.

2009-06-01T03:54:00.000-07:00

I am reeling under too many things.

I'm more upset than i thought i would be, because a friend of mine is leaving. I didn't think he'd have made a difference.

I'm supposed to go have fun tomorrow, but i no longer feel like it, atleast not with who i'm going, and i cannot explain why.

I've discovered that i'm the BIGGEST moron on the planet. everybody but me has a plan, a head, and a rank for show. I on the other hand, have no dream, no plan, no rank, certainly no bright and happy future.

I had a veryvery wierd day yesterday. I went to this birthday party, and guess who i should see. I, however, did NOT nearly die, like i should have. I had a pretty good time, and got snowsprayed and sprayed back in return. [Have i mentioned? My life is a movie.] It seemed like the two years in my head never happened. :) And while that's not making me ecstatic, it seems like the perfect thing that could've happened.

I'm losing my head. very fast. and this feels like a really good time for a vacation, because clearly i'm overthinking, but then again, not like my mental capacity would allow that much.

2009-05-28T08:24:00.001-07:00

What she said.

And i SWEAR to you. don't EVER EVER EVER E.V.E.R say ANYTHING EVEN REMOTELY snide about ANYBODY i call a friend I SWEAR to you i will feed you to a rebel carnivorous dolphin. GOD.

OK

2009-05-27T10:37:00.000-07:00

so here i am. issues? none at all.

WHY of course people other than those who've recently broken up cant really be miserable, right? and no. i cant help it, nor pretend to be real engaged in some real engaging shit while all i do is nothing but gape at this annoying void when i look in and around me. i cant say anything funny, or witty, or cheering up to you when you really need it. you have a bad day, you have a headache, i say something like -Amrutanjan. or like- lets climb up a tree and pretend we're hiding from the paparazzi. or keep mum. i cannot talk around the people i really like, so ill never really be friends with them. i cant talk in general. i cant go out blah blah blah i dont even HAVE a life, so where the fuck is the place for misery? nowhere darlin. no misery no future. no nothing.i dont even know who said this- *insert quote here*. im not smart im not aware im most certainly the most Australian person you'll find. its ok, man. just move on. yeah,ILL SHUT UP. ILL DO THAT OK. THANK YOU.

ze curses.

2009-05-23T04:27:00.000-07:00

you KNOW what.

THE THING with me being in a cold war. IS THAT I CANNOT GO THROUGH WITH THE STUPID THING. WHY, you ask? Shouldn't it be the easiest thing to ignore someone?

well NO.

if it WAS easy to ignore someone i wouldn't ever talk to them ANYWAY which JUSTSORTA JUST rules out the option of a cold war ANYWAY.

which means i should get with doing the apologising, yes? NO. i apologise way too much, i shall not this time. which leaves me in World's Most Desirable Position Numero One : The person who's obssessing about a cold war gone cold and mostlyonlyplotting to strangle other person in aforementioned cold war but will NOT due to the fact that all the attention showered on opposing party will force their head to a size declared unsafe by an UN peace treaty WHICH will in turn lead my strangulation tendencies to increase 17 fold.

The BEST part being, now all the frustration has nothing to do with the actual reason why the whole thing started (which continues to be a mystery, i assure you), and everything to do with the fact that i'm bored and have noone to talk to, and it's not WORTH not being on non-speaking terms with someone - that's just a waste of someone with whom on a perfectly normal day i COULD be speaking to.

Is this even making sense anymore?

2009-05-21T12:54:00.000-07:00

I have no idea why i'm still awake but i shall post anyway because it's been long and i'm feeling vaguely chatty :P

SHRIPARNA WAS TO COME TO BANGALORE TODAY! but curse her and her dutifullythydaughter nature she WILLISNOT coming. no.

much less interesting than that(look personally, i'd recommend you skipping this post it shall contain nothing noteworthy, hardly anything worth reading, and be absolutely devoid of any or all information ok?), is the fact that i worked in poor light(*applauds bangalore power cut*) over a farewell we'll miss you you take care now card that we decided to (have me) make for a classmate who we hear today, is leaving to kerala tomorrow.

which brings me to my life and it's aimlessnessocity.
shriparna is going to off to mumbai to study.
another to orissa.
another to dehradun.
another for pilot training.
another to kerala.
another to pune.
and the rest i'm sure somewhere else to fulfill the dreams of their focussed lives.

whiile i sit blithering about my aimlessness making lists in my head about the letters i should send and movies to watch.
i really must come up with more readable things to post :-\

2009-05-21T12:48:00.000-07:00

Will someone ABSOLUTELY anyone PLEASE explain to me why i even bother.
Being nice is such a WASTE OF SPACE and starting NOW i'm your regular MEANsnooty person who cannot be coaxed to throw you the SLIGHTEST of courtesies anytimeanywhere.

sohelpmegod.

funny thing

2009-05-18T05:57:00.000-07:00

.. i seem to like almost all DMB songs as demo versions a LOT more than the album ones. for example Best Of What's Around. the guitar work is so much more pleasing and ..beautiful in the acoustic demo version. muchmuchmuchlovlier.
anyway, i've decided to dump all shit pictures here, like i had earlier too but then didnt get around to doing it anyway.
let's begin with one catpicture, the only b&w one from the day i visited ishika's house.
OH SHRAVANTHI HAS MADE AN APPEARANCE ON GTALK HOW BLESSED I FEEL so she isnt REALLY dead. so you might expect her to drop in sometime, i suppose. ah.

because.

2009-05-17T00:29:00.000-07:00

shravanthi has abandoned not only this blog, but also severed all ties with me it seems. i have no idea why else we haven't talked in any way in over a month.
therefore, i shall flood this place with my random junk instead of letting this blog wallow in self pity (that's MY job, no one can do it better, not even my blog).

few things that have happened.
i've joined a salsa workshop blah first day was good blah blah i cant dance i suck so bad that blah blah blah but at one point of time i used to be real good that's before blah blah blah blah so that and blah and blah blah we don't have boy partners blah blah if you're a boy and wanna join blah blah thanks.
Symbiosis chances have been screwed because i read their mail a day late so i responded two days after the deadline so im not even gonna be considered for shortlisting so THERE goes my dream of taking up graphic design in college.
i have work but too low a morale and blah blah blah to execute anything properly. so blah.
i've lost my respect for a few people and all that's left is dislikage.
some people are good and some people are lucky and some people suck and need to die.
i have photoshop CS4 finally.
i love babrus and he rules and this is absolutely irrelevant.
here is a random something because i was bored and wanted to check out all the brushes i've ever downloaded from people on deviantArt and just fiddle around,really:

yesimcrazykthnx

i sorta like this. but it falls under the tooawful category so its not on the other blog or on dA.

ok. the end.

2009-05-13T00:44:00.000-07:00

FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, IM SETTING MYSELF A GOAL.
ok?
by the end of this year, i gotta make myself watch a hundred movies. the good the bad and the silly.

no big deal for a normal individual but its always a problem for me, so never mind lets not get into that.

so first job is to jot down the ones i have watched already from the beginning of this year, there's been quite a few.not doing it here, not now. too sleepy.butishallishall.

yesterday

2009-05-09T01:11:00.000-07:00

Gudang Garam. because ill never remember the name.
phuchka very awesome.
fatal auto ride+heat.
the discovery of sweatglands.

incomplete pirate bunny on t-shirt

2009-05-03T11:18:00.000-07:00

no, i don't wear pink.which is why i could get brave enough to experiment on it. imean how can you possibly spoil something which is already nonlookatable?oh the design is inspired by allthatisee online only. cuteness doesn't sprout from me aise hi :P

give me a moment to follow, dear mind.

2009-04-30T05:37:00.000-07:00

i was talking over the phone with shayo, and as a response to her '..and she'd never put lip gloss until she got to college, can you beat that?' about a friend,i just said (much to her disgust and utter disbelief) that i dont either.
(shayo:WHAAAAAAT?WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU,MAN? *insert more raving*although,if the whole 'natural beauty' thing works for you..
me: er, it doesn't, shayo?
shayo: ah yeah.)

in a few hours (by which time, under normal circumstances, you'd thinksuchrandomlilportion of the conversation would be out of my mind, and i'd agree) i was in deep slumber (afternoon nap,hulloh!)
and in MY DREAM, i have SOME GODFORSAKEN PERSON (god fearing more like) telling me off for having gotten decked up for no reason which makes me shoot a quizzical look at mom, who then proceeds tell me that she'd just smeared some vaseline on my lips when we left home for wherever the fuck we were. thassal. not even the customary kohl.

i think my subconscious mind is running out of things to mull over and have conflicting opinions about.

although you dont, really

2009-04-28T06:05:00.000-07:00

One flight down
There's a song on low
And your mind just picked up on the sound
Now you know you're wrong
Because it drifts like smoke
And it's been there playing all along
Now you know
Now you know

The reeds and brass have been weaving
Leading into a single note

In this place
Where your arms unfold
Here at last you see your ancient face
Now you know
Now you know

The cadence rolls in broken
Plays it over and then goes

One flight down
There's a song on low
And it's been there playing all along
Now you know
Now you know

- Norah Jones.

what.

2009-04-27T07:18:00.000-07:00

today, for some holy reason, dad showed SOME interest in what i said and DID bloody respond relevantly, even though it was one solitary sentence he spilled.
me: I LOST PHOTOSHOP AAAAAAAAA WTF KJSHDKFHDSJHF {ohyes i did by theway :stabs 3476 pillows: }
Dad: (after 10 minutes) cant you, like, download photoshop?
me: :O er, it'll take ages ...
(dad's gone by the time i finish saying 'take')
xD

shootme.

2009-04-23T10:34:00.000-07:00

iwasthisclosetobecomingtearyeyedatp.s...

YES OK KILL ME NOW.

i-gloo.

2009-04-22T10:01:00.000-07:00

zit says:
no you
zit says:
im rubber and you're glue
the fright. says:
riiiiiight
the fright. says:
and you mean i stick to you?
the fright. says:
:/
zit says:
eh?
zit says:
nooo
zit says:
meaning shit bounces off me and sticks to you
zit says:
although im not sure glue works very well on shit
the fright. says:
..
zit says:
or if shit bounces
the fright. says:
LMFAO
zit says:
dammit

the fright. says:
IM QUOTING THIS
the fright. says:
XD
zit says:
yay!
zit says:
my lifelong internet dream of being quoted has come true =P

TONIGHT <3

2009-03-31T16:55:00.000-07:00

AFTER AEONS. i love. love. love. life. abheek my childhood friend isnotlost :D i got drunk and cheesily depressed and it was pathetic but i was rescued wonly. AND WHOM BY? this one person i've known for 10 years, the only person ive known AND loved for this long.all is <3

story of my freaking life.

2009-03-22T05:16:00.001-07:00

for the 943579437th time.

its this weird phoney record stuck on repeat.
and its a dirge. A GODDAMNED DIRGE.

2009-03-21T14:58:00.000-07:00

i have very finally officially totally LOST IT.
last night i dreamt of SUMIT (hotness) SHARDA.
my relassunsip/fransip with this guy had been 4 years of utter confusion and weirdity and HILARITY.we were both young andstupid, and the whole story is long winding and exceedingly boring for the thirdperson. so that's all the background i can provide, but three ( no ok, 2.5?) years of no MEMORY of that creature and suddenly, BAM. he features in one of the longest dreams i've ever had (and of which i remember very little now).

what does it do to me?
OH i'll tell you exactly what. with my eco board exam scheduled for tomorrow, and an absolutely untouched ecobook with 24 chapters lying forgotten, i spend the night going crazy over the fact that the landline numbers of siliguri mustve changed. DAMNIT.
AND THE ONLINE DIRECTORY WONT OPEN. I DONT EVEN KNOW IFIT WOULD BE ANY GOOD.
but wow.
should i be pushed off a cliff or WHAT?

EDIT: i was not to be snubbed by cruel technology. i DID manage to get to the online directory, and the number is exactly what it used to be since i'd memorised it, and STILL it wont work.

again, kill me, please.

RE-EDIT: what do they do? do theyeven keep the reciever where its suppossed to be? why do they HAVE a phone and if they dont WHY is it on the DIRECTORY?!

Aarrkcht.

2009-03-17T23:09:00.000-07:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
mathexamand I DONT KNOW ANYTHING AND THEY ARE NOT PLAYING MY SONG i dont have one. Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. i havent been doing ANYTHING at all not studying not onlining not tvwatching not doing ANYTHING that's even WORSE than wasting time man that i'm GOOD at! this is just aimless and painful now i've been doing it too long noooooooooooooo!!

and i dont know i've lost track letter pending (who the hell is sampink you cannibal person eater you) since last year i think I'M ON DIAL UP orkut out the window phone back in working(woohoo.) friends too busy STUDYING and telling me to study i wantto(ha.) buut i cannot i can not i dont know i do NOT know whaaaaaaaai.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllp me atleast get me to stop holding down keys to make it seem like i really mean what i'm saying i DO ok just the fingerpressingonkey thing is getting old.
but whocaresright.

DO SOMETHING. you who is reading this i dont care who you are(later, maybe)go to east africa learn voodoo and witchcraft and DONTJUSTSITTHERE DO SOMETHING or i will blame YOU you heartless fiend who did NOTHING watching my life flash dimly on your screen warning you you are watching me watch it letting it wander and crumble miserably into an endless abyss of more long boring whiney blog entries.

ahphooey(i like :P)
like i was saying.
aahh.

i am in love and i want to eat him

2009-03-17T05:56:00.000-07:00

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SAM PINK
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SAM PINK
SAM PINK
SAM PINK
SAM PINK
SAM PINK
SAM PINK
SAM PINK
SAM PINK
SAM PINK
SAM PINK
SAM PINK
SAM PINK
SAM PINK
SAM PINK
SAM PINK
SAM PINK
SAM PINK
AND I SWEAR ON A FEW THINGS I DONT OWN, I SWEAR I TYPED THEM ALL OUT.

LETS TAKE A BATH TOGETHER!
HEY THERE DELILAH! LIGHT MY FIRE!

SAM PINK!

ignore this, infidels.

2009-03-17T01:55:00.000-07:00

lets hope HE doesnt chance upon it yet. not yet mens.

2009-03-14T05:17:00.000-07:00

if i were a rockstar and this were my blog (like it still is, anyway) i'd talk about this latest tour i'd been to- oh the exhausion, damn the heat(?), YAY THE EXCITEMENT, and the music was fine really. maybe i smashed my guitar at the end of the concert. i dont know, i was too doped. and then we had a photoshoot with the lovely SOANDSO and then something WHAT HAPPENS TO ROCKSTARS AT THESE TOURS? i have no idea. maybe i ate an octopus. maybe, i put on some pink leggings and fell asleep on the bathroom floor. what am i doing? wishing i were a rockstar who didnt have to give ISCs. why dont i study? why am i SO inacapable of it?i would make a decent rockstar. i would, man i can scream.AND sing.and carry a guitar around. AND play it. i PROMISE i can play.why.
WHY

is enough.

2009-03-12T05:47:00.000-07:00

its been OVER TWO MONTHS that i havnt taken any picture! no photgraphy and its killing me.

today i went a little overboard going gaga over this polaroid kit at etsy and i started asking ma if she has any saved money, if she has had joint deposits with someone dead, if she'd unquestioningly lend me some ten grand. then i DREAMT that i have an amazingly funny, cute, hot and generous boyfriend (i dont know) who just randomly gifts me the kit because he thinks my dark circles are getting worse over staring at the etsy page joblessly.
...

mom thinks i should stfu and study and sell some more prints and buy myself the shit.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAFUCKINGHA.
prints :dies laughing:

oh what i dont understand is, the drawings i really put my heart into? nobody seems to like them. its not like i dont put my heart into everything else, but maybe im not very pleased with the results sometimes and people go OMG SPAZZZHSJGDFJSGHF LOLZ SO AMAZING over them, and nobody (well ok, no more than 2 people maybe) would like what i really would think deserves a rat's ass.

or an elephant's ass, goddamnit.

2009-03-05T21:02:00.000-08:00

there are so many things i would like to do before i die, and one of them is surviving this maths (board) exam. far cry.i cant study. im an asshole. get me a gun and i'll shoot you.

there's also lots of other shit. like publishing a book. HAHA YOU HEARD THAT? A BOOK! wouldnt THAT be something?then i can then piss on it! i can then have one solitary copy sold to my mom's second uncle and he'd argue about why i used the word naked in one of the otherwise perfectly sensible poems. oh my god this is going to be fun.

i also want to tell people im really getting married just to see if they'd believe me. i dreamt the night before last that im suppossed to be getting married off to a vaishnav, shaved head, chandan tilak et al. i posted it on my blog and people slandered me because they thought im a muthafucking cunt who would go lie about getting married because really, i dont have a life.

WTF how would they know?! (about me not having a life, not the fact that i was not getting married really because i was, really)it was very disturbing.it made me very sad and i woke up and mom told me i had an exam to give and i didnt believe her. i went into the hall and they told me i could start writing and i didnt believe them.the question paper -well it was a lie and i dont remember nothing beyond.i decided i wont believe anyone.

i also would like to sell this to some brainless git. HAHA i love asima but no one else can and i just wanna prove myself wrong at that.

another thing i'd really like to do before i die is show people how much i hate a lot of things. the amount of hate, i mean. its incredible. its humongous and it can eat 79 elephants and 912 dinosaurs for breakfast.it will be scary. i'd like to do that, yes.

will you be sticking with me when the money's gone?

2009-03-03T20:27:00.000-08:00

the born ruffians were born to be motherfucking sonsovbitches who give me reasons to live and look at a tree or a snail or a fly and not flinch and say good afternoon.

Underneath my thumb
I'm taking you to put you
Underneath my thumb
I'm placing you down neatly
Underneath my thumb
Beneath my thumb, beneath my thumb

& If you get squished
I'll find another you
& If you get squashed
I'll just find another you
It won't be hard to find another one like you
Another you, another you

& I don't give a damn about
When I see you, I don't
& I don't give a damn about
The I-owe-yous, I don't
The disappearing kindness
That I show for you, I know
I won't be sad
When you & me are through

-BADONKA DONKEY

if you havnt heard them yet then go eat some ants and then a hippo. you dont deserve to know them.

2009-02-27T10:30:00.000-08:00

Orkut Fortune of the day.
The secret of joy in work is contained in one word - excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it.

no really, did i need that DID i?
ok so i'm NOT to enjoy my boards? is THAT what you're telling me orkut? IS IT? but oh wait DO I LOOK LIKE I'M ENJOYING IT?
and
Excellence? before a board exam WHO iaskyouWHO in their right minds talks to ME about excellence? and WHYonearth WHAI would they?
what one CAN and (for reasons inexplicably justified) SHOULD talk to me about are :

Need to pass disunadmirably, sure that's relevant
discussions about prayer services to turn the world's luck around to me(indication of size, thank you)
actual prayer services that pray to have prayer services turning my luck around to the world? or the other way( sighs from post-chemistry-related-saturation induced befuddlement)
rough plans and blue prints that detail me running away to the himalayas or me disguising myself as a barber and making it across the border
lemons.
why staying up writing unnecessarily randomish blogposts may cause me to sleepwalk to the exam
why sleepwalking to the exam doesnt seem such a bad idea
and whetehr or not this spelling of wehther or whethr or hewther or (destroys last remaining sliver(?) of care for spellings) is right

this is also a public posting of a "jobs wanted" ad.

once i don't get a college and am turned out into the streets with lack of qualifications and talent and skill whatsoever i'll need a job and it's unlikely i could post this then :\