there is an ache and then i fall asleep only to wake up with a start at around 3 in the morning wondering if i'll find myself being looked at as a video game or a void, an escape or as non existent.this is really painful.

stop this, hold this like its a naked heartbeat and bury it somewhere down the street i dont need this to be the chorus to the dirge of a soundtrack to the entire goddamned tragic farce that is my life.

or make me see that it can be touched like a tissue or a pebble or a missing block of lego.