Bloody chinese spammers, fuck off i say.  moving on, looks like i AM doing rantblog again afterall.
This is like a note to self.

Please be awesome again. the trick is to be awesome and not give a fuck, to believe that your awesomeness is not a result of any external element, nothing but your mere existence makes itself a marvel, and to eat a lot of chicken and draw a lot of lines.Do colour outside but losing money is NOT OK.

Not the 100th post.

So, look who's ridiculously bored. Look who also cannot use Photoshop anymore. Look who has, however, finally learnt how to do the stupid sunrays thing.

I need a lot of things and one of them would be something i already have but cannot consume because im at home. I have a new harddisk, and a new skirt. It is very fulfilling to have yourself given a back massage and I need fulfillment of just that craving right about now.I dont need to get into crabby mood and suddenly, ranting seems to be getting me closer to one of those moods.
Should stop and will.

LAME LAZYDAY LISTS

As of now,


I miss:

• Shayo.
• Sayan.
• My bed being next to the windows in my room (mom MOVED it after the last time i left home)
• Geography class. (yes, right go laugh your asses off)
• Shravanthi M.S. and ICSE Board exams :D
• Watching cartoon network (mom watches soaps ALL bleddy day)
• Pot.
• My guitar.
• Boy.

I want:

• SHAYO TO MOVE TO PUNE REAAAAAAAAALBAD.
• To be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
• Some new books. (i hate ebooks)
• Acrylic paints.
• A wacom tablet.
• A camera.
• A snowglobe to fling at a wall
• To be your dirty little secret. 
• Some storage space, goddamnit. (which translates as, a new hard disk, maybe?)
• Loads of plain new wallets i could paint on.
• To write a letter and name it Pop.
• To make a boldly coloured painting and name it Montgomery.
• New Music 
• Boy. :(

I Love:

• The smell of paint
• The Book Thief (the book, that is. got hold of e-book yay)
• Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory <3
• The Japanese Wife :')
• The idea of killing people.
• The idea of shooting marbles down someone's throat.
• The idea of shooting myself for being unreasonable.
• Boy.<3

I Hate:

• Obsessing.
• Screaming moms.
• Screaming children.
• Screaming me.
• Screaming T.V.
• Lack of Pot.
• Lack of Sneha.
• This
• ( Insert extremely infuriating and saddening shit i will not mention) 
• LackofBoyD:

when life's a whore..

fuck it in the nostril.


only, this one here is a freaking weirdo with a broken nose so well, it kinda hurts worse trying to do that either.

jesus christ, college is confusing. its damn annoying. its damn fun too. and i wanna go aww and Fuck and HMPH and grrrr and :) at the same things at the SAME time so its rather mindfucking. wtf. but sometimes its all cool becaaaaaause wellllllllll i dont know, at the end of the day im still doing fine and am able to take off my lenses right and shit so :P

ok now, gimme a hug someone. i need.

today

i finally touched my right foot after ages, yes the one that's got approximately 8375967 coats of grime over it because it was too painful to even make it come in contact with flowing water.and also had another person touch it. dont ask me, he's a madman. with fingers like waterfalls, jesus christ.

-

shayo: look, what happens in pune, stays in pune. because pune, its like goa man.

-

and oh my god i cannot even believe it man.

-

ankit's adaptation of anusha's "technically" talking face.

-

burger king with all the cheese on the plate and the chikkin going down making me sick.

-

going back to the same old game. hope your address is the same.

-

not in that order.

watte

so we finally have the digital design module happening so right now i happen to be at the comp lab, pretending to be trying to explore corel draw. facebook is blocked till 5 pm. i have a pain in the leg and a cuteguysittingnexttomelala. the sad and the scary part is that i cannot delete internet history becaaaaaauuuuse then the password for the cyberroam client gets deleted and i cant afford to have that because idont know the password, it was presaved.so there, my blogword privacy is liable to be disrupted any moment by random people of my college who might be jobless enough to try checking random urls in the history.i have nothing even remotely amusing or interesting to share apart from the fact that i have blue nailpaint on and it looks SHIT on me. i have darker arms and a darker and uglier face than i've ever been known to possess. the other day, a dog came limping and chased me and neeti round the footpath because we had a packet of chips with us it was scary i thought i'd get a kidney faliure and die on the spot of a severe ankle injury.i didnt have my bandage on then, and it was a bad hair day. i was wearing an oversized tshirt and a pair of mustard yellow patiyalas and somebody told me i look like a little thing in it, as if wearing anything else makes any difference to my persistent littulity. harish is in pune, we shall meet this week.shayo is coming on the 21st and sayan sometime in october. i want to be a paintbrush.

for the record.

I remember having set myself this.. goalthingy of watching about a hundred movies by the end of the year. It MIGHT JUST happen because now im in a design school which has this filmandvideoclub and every week we have a screening of some movie in a classroom ( ah, some screening, you must think. but whatever). First week it was Juno, and i'd already watched it. Next, it was 'Thank you for smoking'. Sad thing is, since i missed like about ..10 minutes of the movie, im not considering it watched at all. Because i have no fucking clue what was happening because i was dead sleepy while it was on, so everything was just thismotionblur onscreen while i was blissfully static in my head.Therefore, that's not being counted either.
But i watched Hangover on friend's laptop.one fuckall movie, men. watchitifyouhavntalready. the tiger kicked the fatman'sass.yes ,so that counts.
Also, i just watched this Korean movie-' The Bow'.
I cannot talk about it because im sleepy. Like, my ankle might come off because it's hurting like nobody's business, and i didn't get my afternoon nap PLUS i have a doctor's appointment later in the evening so, no. Not gonna talk about the movie, besides there isnt much to say. just that, i watched it. soitcounts. im gonna have to do this proper list now.

OH AND I WATCHED SEX AND THE CITY ONCE. ( no i hadnt watched it earlier, so? go eat a pumpkin)
Sad life i have, yes?Makes it three movies anyway. i told you im watching shittyonesaswell,sothat.

ok tata.

I'm tired.

I'm tired of sitting still and worrying because at this moment, like RIGHT now? i don't have a hope for a future and everything i've ever taken for granted, some things i just decided would happen, they all seem nonexistent, and impossibilities in a world that's beginning to spiral more and more out of my control, and which is starting to seem exactly like books that are written to describe sorrow and longing, that always ALWAYS end with some sort of pitiable form of supposed satisfaction because really, it's EASY to erase a life of pain and staring through warm windows in rags, with something as sublime as a smile, or peace in death.
right?

i cannot do this. i cannot listen to someone complain about getting a really good college IN bangalore, with a course that they want, because of some ill-conceived idea that they have to move to hostel. SHE LIVES HERE WHY WOULD SHE GO TO HOSTEL. and THAT is why her life is ruined?

it really is the least of my problems. i cant be nice. i dont want to try. i want to stay home. and i want to be back in school back to knowing what would happen the next day the next year atleast WHERE i would go the next day the next year.

and you know what the worst part is?
i wish i didn't know anyone i did.

i'm not who they think i am i will not live up to expectations i'm on a one-way trip no backtracks no U-turns no side lanes no nothing on a path to absolutely nowhere. so here's to me.

ze curses.

you KNOW what.

THE THING with me being in a cold war. IS THAT I CANNOT GO THROUGH WITH THE STUPID THING. WHY, you ask? Shouldn't it be the easiest thing to ignore someone?

well NO.

if it WAS easy to ignore someone i wouldn't ever talk to them ANYWAY which JUSTSORTA JUST rules out the option of a cold war ANYWAY.

which means i should get with doing the apologising, yes? NO. i apologise way too much, i shall not this time. which leaves me in World's Most Desirable Position Numero One : The person who's obssessing about a cold war gone cold and mostlyonlyplotting to strangle other person in aforementioned cold war but will NOT due to the fact that all the attention showered on opposing party will force their head to a size declared unsafe by an UN peace treaty WHICH will in turn lead my strangulation tendencies to increase 17 fold.

The BEST part being, now all the frustration has nothing to do with the actual reason why the whole thing started (which continues to be a mystery, i assure you), and everything to do with the fact that i'm bored and have noone to talk to, and it's not WORTH not being on non-speaking terms with someone - that's just a waste of someone with whom on a perfectly normal day i COULD be speaking to.

Is this even making sense anymore?

I have no idea why i'm still awake but i shall post anyway because it's been long and i'm feeling vaguely chatty :P

SHRIPARNA WAS TO COME TO BANGALORE TODAY! but curse her and her dutifullythydaughter nature she WILLISNOT coming. no.


much less interesting than that(look personally, i'd recommend you skipping this post it shall contain nothing noteworthy, hardly anything worth reading, and be absolutely devoid of any or all information ok?), is the fact that i worked in poor light(*applauds bangalore power cut*) over a farewell we'll miss you you take care now card that we decided to (have me) make for a classmate who we hear today, is leaving to kerala tomorrow.

which brings me to my life and it's aimlessnessocity.
shriparna is going to off to mumbai to study.
another to orissa.
another to dehradun.
another for pilot training.
another to kerala.
another to pune.
and the rest i'm sure somewhere else to fulfill the dreams of their focussed lives.

whiile i sit blithering about my aimlessness making lists in my head about the letters i should send and movies to watch.
i really must come up with more readable things to post :-\

because.

shravanthi has abandoned not only this blog, but also severed all ties with me it seems. i have no idea why else we haven't talked in any way in over a month.
therefore, i shall flood this place with my random junk instead of letting this blog wallow in self pity (that's MY job, no one can do it better, not even my blog).

few things that have happened.
i've joined a salsa workshop blah first day was good blah blah i cant dance i suck so bad that blah blah blah but at one point of time i used to be real good that's before blah blah blah blah so that and blah and blah blah we don't have boy partners blah blah if you're a boy and wanna join blah blah thanks.
Symbiosis chances have been screwed because i read their mail a day late so i responded two days after the deadline so im not even gonna be considered for shortlisting so THERE goes my dream of taking up graphic design in college.
i have work but too low a morale and blah blah blah to execute anything properly. so blah.
i've lost my respect for a few people and all that's left is dislikage.
some people are good and some people are lucky and some people suck and need to die.
i have photoshop CS4 finally.
i love babrus and he rules and this is absolutely irrelevant.
here is a random something because i was bored and wanted to check out all the brushes i've ever downloaded from people on deviantArt and just fiddle around,really:

yesimcrazykthnx

i sorta like this. but it falls under the tooawful category so its not on the other blog or on dA.

ok. the end.

yesterday

Gudang Garam. because ill never remember the name.
phuchka very awesome.
fatal auto ride+heat.
the discovery of sweatglands.

TONIGHT <3

AFTER AEONS. i love. love. love. life. abheek my childhood friend isnotlost :D i got drunk and cheesily depressed and it was pathetic but i was rescued wonly. AND WHOM BY? this one person i've known for 10 years, the only person ive known AND loved for this long.all is <3

Aarrkcht.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
mathexamand I DONT KNOW ANYTHING AND THEY ARE NOT PLAYING MY SONG i dont have one. Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. i havent been doing ANYTHING at all not studying not onlining not tvwatching not doing ANYTHING that's even WORSE than wasting time man that i'm GOOD at! this is just aimless and painful now i've been doing it too long noooooooooooooo!!

and i dont know i've lost track letter pending (who the hell is sampink you cannibal person eater you) since last year i think I'M ON DIAL UP orkut out the window phone back in working(woohoo.) friends too busy STUDYING and telling me to study i wantto(ha.) buut i cannot i can not i dont know i do NOT know whaaaaaaaai.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllp me atleast get me to stop holding down keys to make it seem like i really mean what i'm saying i DO ok just the fingerpressingonkey thing is getting old.
but whocaresright.

DO SOMETHING. you who is reading this i dont care who you are(later, maybe)go to east africa learn voodoo and witchcraft and DONTJUSTSITTHERE DO SOMETHING or i will blame YOU you heartless fiend who did NOTHING watching my life flash dimly on your screen warning you you are watching me watch it letting it wander and crumble miserably into an endless abyss of more long boring whiney blog entries.

ahphooey(i like :P)
like i was saying.
aahh.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

TODAY IM VERY HAPPY.

my best friend from primary school has finally started using his real name. he's come to terms with it after seventy thousand years of wandering in a sea of pissicular nicks.god it makes me happy enough to admit that i love him. HAHA IN SEVEN DAYS THIS HAPPINESS IS GOING TO MAKE ME PASS OUT AND I WONT HAVE TO GIVE ANY EXAMS ON ACCOUNT OF DEEPINTENSEUNCONSCIOUSNESS.

its building up its building up.

SECONDLY

रोज पाउडर

चमन बहार

MAKES ME HAPPY.

3. IM SCORING WELL IN THE PRACTICALS AND THAT MEANS MY FUTURE KIDS WILL NOT HAVE TO DIE OF SHAME. OH HOW THEY WILL LOVE ME.

FOURTHLY, CHICKEN.

FIFTHLY, RICE.

SIXTHLY, THE TIN DRUM.

SEVENTHLY, THE MOSTER IN MY ROOM THAT ATE THE OTHER MOSNSTERS IN MY ROOM AND I DREW A PICTURE OF THEM ON ONE OF THE 26 FILTERPAPERS I NICKED FROM THE LAB.

HAPPYBIRTHDAY ANURIMA MAY THE BIGMONSTER PROTECT YOU FOR LIFE AND SCRATCH YOUR ARMPITS FOR YOU WHEN YOU'RE LONELY.

-ADD WISHES YOU WANT TO BE WISHED HERE-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa

100TH POST HOORRAAAAHHHHH

SO LET ME RUIN IT BEFORE SHRAVANTHI NOTICES
-muahahahahha-

so a while back, over gtalk:

Shravanthi: GUYS ARE JERKS SO HUGE YOU CANT SEE THE SKY



BIG surprise.



anyway.
it's her school farewell day tomorrow, and day after i have mine.
she's cribbing about not having EARRINGS to wear, (and how she was out shopping but got nothing) when i, dear readers, have no blouse, no SHOES, no NOTHING to wear. i had shayontoni lecturing me over the phone for half an hour, telling me what to do in order to look smoking hot and glamorous and insertsimilaradjectiveswhichmayNEVERbeusedtodescribeme. she shrieked at the idea of me going without getting a manicure, WHEN HAHA ive never even had my thicklyforested arms waxed and such. she asks me what shoes im wearing (with a white and blue sari which is gorgeous and, i repeat, has no blouse to go with it YET, mind you :wails: ) and i had no answer and when iasked mom teh same question she yelled for 15 minutes asking me to STFU AND GO SHOP FOR MYSELF IF I CANT WEAR WHAT I ALREADY HAVE WHICH WOULD BE ONE BROWN DR. MARTENS BULKY SANDAL, ONE PAATI GREEN SANDAL, ONE PAIR OF CONVERSE. THE END. SO?
so if you knew me, you'd know i dont give a flying fuck and am just fucking around because i must post something and ruin the 100th post BOOHOO XD

oh so
does anyone want

to

give

me

a valentines day gift of

a WACOM INTUOS3 GRAPHIC TABLET HUH HUH ? I SWEAR I WONT SLAP YOU NEITHER WILL MY NON EXISTENT BIGBROTHER NO NEED TO WORRY COME ON NOW YOU CAN DO ITTTTT

-pokes you-

p.s: since the post had the mention of and a direct quote from my beloved blog partner, dont you DAAAAARE ACCUSE ME OF UNTHOUGHTFULNESS.

lmao

everything here looks so so fucking morose man.what the hell made us this fucked up? bah :P

anyway, school over, and im hoping ill pass boards. im not WORKING for it, no, just hoping. thats ok for a start, aye? yes im just BEGINNING to acknowledge the fact that boards are indeed approaching. am i fast or WHAT. yeah i use caps instead of italics, deal with it.
farewell on the 14th of feb. HAHAHA yeah. my grandma has a new sofa and i wanna go over to stay at her place but if you know my mother.. :/
she's reading out V-day special offers and discounts from the newspaper and going OH YAY LETS GO SHOPPING which is momentary, trust me.
we dont shop for anything.but.nighties.or.saris.for.our.maid.
..

that's right.
anyway, new iPod was about to be smashed the day before, and becaaause i didnt let it happen, mom didnt let me eat the entire day yday. no joke. no matter how much i regret having the iPod over the iTouch OR a Tablet, i wouldnt want to lose whatever i did get to my mom's insanity, nossir.

and damn, when i run out of things to say, i also cant think of ways to end my blogsposts. :/

ok I ACKNOWLEDGE the fact that we've stepped into a new year, ok? it just doesnt mean anything with the impendingdoom of a board exam approaching and all of that. although, I need to just absolutely NEED to remind me that i NEED to read this year. just a little? a few books? last year, i didnt complete reading a single book that i can remember. i have quite a few lying around but nuh-uh i dont READ. no there is no fucking reason why. i just seem to be a bastard. so dear little bastard, i know you'd like to read. so DO, ok?
ok.

YES YESTERDAY was thehappiestday of my life so far. well, sorta. i got a LETTER! after CENTURIES! THE BEST EVER.

i love you shrav and i'll make you cookies in my next life <3

BETTER BETTER BETTER!

i just made a pretty little illustration inspired by a song illustration for what you ask? nothing song shay me i wont tell you what song before i post the drawing on my main blog i hate talking on the phone i HATE TALKING OVER THE PHONE and i love beads