ok. this is the end of an era of me always pushing coversation. or having to push conversation in case i want any because you certainly dont want any and i will take the hint. yes sir, you have successfully hammered it home. bravo.

get yourself a new goddamn disease

sometimes i get shortness of breath like hiccups because i dont get hiccups anymore. i used to get hiccups when i laughed very hard. i believe in statements and thats a disease. if i didnt take everything so seriously, i'd get sleep more often and then i could wake up and be of some service to the household which would make me a relevant person and make it easier to talk mom into letting me go out for an hour. today i have a resolve and very short breath. today i have a thought process running amok but it ends in murder. that's got to be some form of order. yes it is. its impossible to be unhappy in a skirt. im fine. today is a thursday. im fine.

who says i cant get stoned

if im crying about the death of dio or the malfunction in my intestines or because i missed meeting my bitches because of the 7th time my mom wanted to pretend to be homicidal, im always crying about the same.
in which case i would be oblivious of the others and in case im really crying about it which im crying about,and the fact that the others don't hold can not make me stop.


That is exactly what makes me a dysfunctional human being.

It's like i make guest appearances here eh:P

ah well not very missed anyway, considering noone knows i pop in here except shilpy:D ah yes okay i will cut that out. insanely as a first i can think of absolutely nothing to complain about in my life whiich is insanely as a first the insanely part i'm talking about? is because i've got exams and a very(uh VERY) annoying college but hey whatthehell:D

i been listening to moody emotional songs all day which oho yeah is another bit of insanity(but is fun! i mean no better way to balance out a blank head than to fill it with other people's heartbreaks and longing)

and i started writing anotherletter, you. be glee-ed:)

Doesnt look like I'm much of a feminist.

Yeah, that's pretty much all I have to say about the matter.
Moving on, I've really been into short fiction lately, and have just realised I cannot write it. Its a painfully heartbreaking process, recovering each time I discover something I love and soon after, my complete lack of skill or aptitude in the area.Why, always.I even lose the will to punctuate right around this traumatic period.


No, I'm not PMSing.
(Well that's a feminist statement right there.)

i cant believe it takes a month of nagging and then a punch in the  face to remind a person of what you need.

im not the one for pushing, i like to abandon and withdraw.

LAME LAZYDAY LISTS

As of now,


I miss:

• Shayo.
• Sayan.
• My bed being next to the windows in my room (mom MOVED it after the last time i left home)
• Geography class. (yes, right go laugh your asses off)
• Shravanthi M.S. and ICSE Board exams :D
• Watching cartoon network (mom watches soaps ALL bleddy day)
• Pot.
• My guitar.
• Boy.

I want:

• SHAYO TO MOVE TO PUNE REAAAAAAAAALBAD.
• To be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
• Some new books. (i hate ebooks)
• Acrylic paints.
• A wacom tablet.
• A camera.
• A snowglobe to fling at a wall
• To be your dirty little secret. 
• Some storage space, goddamnit. (which translates as, a new hard disk, maybe?)
• Loads of plain new wallets i could paint on.
• To write a letter and name it Pop.
• To make a boldly coloured painting and name it Montgomery.
• New Music 
• Boy. :(

I Love:

• The smell of paint
• The Book Thief (the book, that is. got hold of e-book yay)
• Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory <3
• The Japanese Wife :')
• The idea of killing people.
• The idea of shooting marbles down someone's throat.
• The idea of shooting myself for being unreasonable.
• Boy.<3

I Hate:

• Obsessing.
• Screaming moms.
• Screaming children.
• Screaming me.
• Screaming T.V.
• Lack of Pot.
• Lack of Sneha.
• This
• ( Insert extremely infuriating and saddening shit i will not mention) 
• LackofBoyD:

i really really want to write a book on my numerous, half made up dreams.

GOD i really just want to write a book.